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Significant Weather

by Real Life Buildings

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Cold 02:48
i am cold for the first time in a week and i finally left my room to find a pink sky light almost gone and the mosquitoes finally died at least i hope at the very least they’ve stopped biting me so its finally safe to sit out here for the last year i’ve felt like if i could just find the right place if i could just get the right stuff and have the right routine i wouldn’t have to worry about ever feeling down but i forgot to account for the fact that happiness isn’t a permanent state it’s a fleeting sensation just temporary elation something you experience for a little while there is no puzzle to solve to unlock it once and for all i guess that’s more like complacency so maybe i should think more about gratification because it’s implicit that it’s the result of an action not a passive ‘wake up and look at my accumulated shit’ and experience happiness but the word really doesn’t matter it’s the same feeling we’re all after i just want to not always have to drag myself out of bed to spring to my feet each day and move with intention to mostly feel good and be motivated so i’m learning what helps me is to always be busy not like “sorry i can’t see you ‘cause i’m busy” but like i’m seeing you right now and that makes me busy.
No News 03:32
the breeze just barely makes it through the window - daylight is dulled by panes of dirty glass the radio receives a signal it’s broadcasted to me the sound waves travel faster through the grey humidity and i’ve retreated to my bed hoping for silence but instead i hear the sounds around me clear and loud in my bedroom i don’t read the paper i don’t click the links i just scroll past them through an endless feed of headlines each one is worse than the last one i just blink my eyes and let it all slide by seeking comfort is not radical for someone like me but i get overwhelmed it can be hard to fight against complacency (if i could just sit still..) like any other person i desire relevance but hope that i can achieve it just by sitting at my desk as if everyone ‘successful’ must be doing something useful it’s never been true. all press is good press but no news is good news.
Tare 04:52
i got home to find i didn’t know which way to turn the key or maybe it just kept spinning like a screw that finally stripped you tried to force it where it knew it shouldn’t go and so it told you ‘no’ now the screws just stuck and the drill just spins but the wood holds fast it’ll have to stay like that for now sometimes my feet get stuck and my head just spins i know that it won’t last but it takes a day calm back down but life feels short - trial and error seems inefficient there are too many projects i’d like to work on if i could settle on just one maybe i’d know which way to go maybe i wouldn’t feel so anxious all the time because everything i do feels like it causes harm to some other end i didn’t mean to walk on to a balance beam i thought the scale i bought was digital: you just weigh one thing at a time to learn about it but when you line the boxes up it’s hard not to compare to think ‘i could be in that one, or maybe that one over there’ i try to focus on moving forward but the compass needle always spins around. the weeds are growing in my garden - the tiniest bit of root can sprout a new plant just like that and each time i open the door they’ve grown some more i can’t keep up with it i wish i could do better but i just weigh one thing at a time to learn about it. so when the screw gets stuck the weeds just grow but the plants remain - its okay if it stays like that for now sometimes my feet get stuck and so the weeds just grow and grow but the garden doesn’t disappear.
i’ve seen a fucking sunset and yeah they’re really nice but i’d like to not feel bad for not catching every single one if it wasn’t for instagram i probably never would have known that the sun ever came up today and it might even have been better that way but the picture was nice it had a full range of tones it didn’t even need a filter and it made me miss home and it made me miss the trees and windows that let you see more than just other windows. i can’t see the sun behind the buildings just the reflection in those windows of the windows down the street and the sun sets halfway through the workday where at lunch we can talk about the weather or talk about what we made for dinner i made some fucking soup and i tried not to think of you but its hard not to think of someone when you try not to think of someone. i can’t help but be so impatient because at the same time i feel like i’m falling behind instant gratification only happens if you put in the time and when you leave for a year the river keeps flowing even though it still looks the same on google maps or in photographs on color film scanned and burned to a CD-R from CVS that costs too much but it does really make the river look good and so i missed it there but now i miss it the other there ‘cause i don’t give anything time. you spent almost a whole week in west texas and i’ve always driven though it in a day.
i have a job which means i get paid to leave my bed to ride the subway and read my book to eat breakfast and lunch you just have to think like you’re clocking in when you wake up and you make much less an hour and when you get home and you’re tired you can lie down on the couch it’s all part of the work day and finally you can fall asleep and that’s all for you and if it’s less than minimum wage at least you have a purpose you’re not sleeping in until two having lunch but calling it breakfast and my bulbs are breaking through the soil - green fingers point to the sky but they don’t know it’s still the end of december they don’t know that the worst isn’t over it’s spring for all they know but they’ll get buried in snow before they flower and my cat is gonna die she’s only four years younger than i am she’s been alive long enough to be in college and she’s just as wise too cats have a pretty clear idea of what one ought to do yeah, cats have it right. they stick to the ground but they can still stand up but i stick to the ground and i can still stand up.
Black Kettle 02:27
in a dream we were heading passed a town it was late and we wanted to make it to a campsite it was cold and i wanted to crawl into my sleeping bag i was so looking forward to just falling asleep and then i woke up it’s hard to know where to begin or what to begin with when you barely have time or energy to do more than just sit, lean back, and close your eyes and i don’t wanna get caught sleeping in because the air feels thicker and time moves slower but the clock turns faster and every movement takes a little more than you’re willing to give. i can’t make myself stop thinking about the future long enough to know if i’m happy where i am and i can’t bring myself to talk to those around me when i’m always making plans to move somewhere better, somewhere cheaper, somewhere where i can have space - somewhere people don’t all wear cutoffs and have the same t-shirts that i do somewhere that still has all my friends.
Thaw 02:04
i’ve been drinking coffee and tea out of the same mug without rinsing it and i’ve been thinking that i should get up ‘cause it’s the morning but i haven’t yet because i’m watching the neighbor’s snowblower out my window get stuck the snow turned to ice weeks ago and i turned to ice months ago and now i’ve got to drive to the city for the show but there won’t be anywhere to park just mounds of snow pushed toward the curb and covered in all of the dirt of new york but the sun is peaking out and all its wavelengths get absorbed by my black jeans and my skin gets too hot so the ice must be starting to melt and i’m setting my alarm earlier every morning so maybe i’m getting there.
Ground Cover 05:03
caffeine headaches and dirty snow banks everybody is sliding off the road but it’s starting to clear up - the snow turns to rain but the road stays the same endless stretch of salt stained gray i could’ve just stayed at home - but i’m teaching myself to not get so scared so easily. but we ruined it by walking through it - it was only perfect until we got there. it’s not a very practical ground cover. and if i get so stressed about gas prices why can’t i just download gasbuddy for my phone do i know i would never stop to check it maybe try while driving but hopefully there’d be someone in the car who could check it for me and i know that it just comes down to geography but i feel like the grass is always greener there and i know that it just comes down to geography but i feel like the trees all grow taller there and i know that it just comes down to geography but i feel like i can’t be close to everybody all at once. but in snow world it’s hard to want to go outside because we’ll ruin it by walking through it.
the party is over but just for me because i left it quietly i’ll bet that no one even saw i went upstairs (there were less people) used the bathroom and i slid out the front door. the show is not over but i left because i couldn’t hear a thing i wanted to talk but had nothing to say i rode my bike away not in the mood to watch some stupid band play. its cold as fuck outside but i’ll be back home soon it’s only a short ride then i’ll shut myself in my room i want to work on something that’s the reason that i left but as soon as i get in i’ll slide into a chair i’ll look around my room and start to get overwhelmed and open my computer and probably go on facebook to see that darren wilson is still on paid vacation and i don’t give a fuck about some status revelation so my heart sinks inevitably and my head starts aching eyes glaze over i’ve lost all traces of motivation so defeated i retreat into my bed thinking: what’s the use in painting pictures anyway.
they say it only rains if you water your garden you can’t wait and hope the job gets done but i’ve got a houseplant inside so i water it and it still doesn’t rain. the leaves bend over toward the glass like they’re craning for a better view the action is out past the stoop and they can barely see it and the sunlight is out past the stoop and they will never reach it so the ambient light will have to do until the night returns when you get home from work then lock the door lower the blinds now the light comes from the inside and you don’t want to let it out the ripple ends with the window glass the splash doesn’t make it through the door the tree grows where no one will hear it fall. and the day always ends before i’m ready to fall asleep and it starts before i’ve even woken up and the seasons are measured in fundraising drives on WNYC but the days are getting longer and the road is getting clearer because i got a stronger prescription but other than that not much has changed so i still check my email every half hour to see if anything will i know i’ll get something some day soon. but now i can’t read what i’ve written on my hand so i don’t know what to do i had hoped that the act of writing was enough to make me remember like writing vocabulary words over and over - drilling them into my head but i didn’t write these words enough and they slipped into the cracks in my skin so when i get home i’ll just in my chair with the blinds lowered when the light comes from the inside you don’t want to let it out.


Written throughout 2014 and 2015 + recorded in January 2016
released by Lauren Records 04/2017


released April 21, 2017

Matthew Van Asselt - guitars, singing, some keys, some bass
Elaiza Santos - keys, singing
Laetitia Tamko - guitars, singing
Jon Appel - drums, singing
Griffin Irvine - bass

Recorded by Chris Daly @ Salvation Recording Co, New Paltz, NY
Mixed by Mike Ditrio

a special thanks to the earlier versions of this band too - Mike, Felix, Gabby, and even Ryan for an hour.. - a little bit from each of you made it onto some of these recordings.


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Real Life Buildings New York, New York

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